Premium Band Names

I have always been amused at the way we name some of products. Ofcourse, I am not talking about companies that name their product simply and honestly after their founders...Siyaram's, Haldiram's etc. What sets my funny bone off is some brands that try to...well...infuse a little of what they hope their brand will be, in the name. Come now, there ought to be atleast a dozen brands named Supreme Samosas in your city. Why, even Kisan (which I think is an excellent and appropriately named company), the processed foods giant, used the fact to hilarious effect in their ad. Add to this 'Best' Biscuits, 'Premier' Tea and 'Tasty' Chips, you have all that you need for a delicious evening spread.

What got me writing about it was yesterday's incident. While I was at the grocer's yesterday I couldn't help but overhear a telephonic conversation between the shopkeeper and a customer (only the shopkeeper's end ofcourse) who had called to ask for some things to be sent home as is generally the practice in such small stores. Obviously the customer wasn't a local and the shop keeper was helping her finalize the list of items to send over. This is how I imaginatively reconstructed and exaggerated the conversation to a point where its worthy to recount on this blog....

Shopkeeper: Haloe?
Madam: Hello? Ramaiah...listen I need some things.
Ramaiah: Yes mahdum...please tell...I noting
Mahdum: What sugar do you have?
Ramaiah: Best sugar madam...how many kilos?
Mahdum: Well, what brand is it?
Ramaiah: Best madam.
Mahdum: Oh well I am sure it is the best. Well anyway, I won't know one brand from the other anyway. Fine, do you have some ghee too?
Ramaiah: Yes madam...Pure ghee
Mahdum: Well I am sure it is. What brand is it?
Ramaiah: Pure Brand
Mahdum: Amul?
Ramaiah: No madam. Amul out of stock. Pure ghee.
Mahdum: So you dont have ghee?
Ramaiah: Yes maam. Having. Pure Ghee.


That went on for quite a while. Thus I came out of Prestige Stores, turned the corner at the Corner Tea shop (I ain't kidding...Corner Tea Shop,Pondy Bazaar, T.Nagar, Chennai, see for yourself) walked through the Brilliant Tutorials compound and got to my place, M.B.Flats.

Gee, when will these guys realise that Palaniappamurugaiyah Ghee sounds just as tempting as Pure Ghee.

And please...don't get me started on all those Bozos like 'M.B' who go around labeling products with their initials as if those initials couldn't stand for anything else. The practice exudes a despicable smugness, no?

Posted by R.C.B